Sifting Through The Darkness
Updated: Feb 24, 2019
Sometimes I feel like I am walking in the dark.
Its like when you wake in the middle of the night
to go to the bathroom, you're half asleep and you are feeling your way around hoping not to bump into that table you should have moved last week. I can see the shadow of where I want to be but getting there without injury becomes the mission.
Since God placed me on this journey, I have understood one thing, I can't make sudden moves, I can't just quit, leave or stop something just because I'm over it. I reflect back and realize that in this very moment, everything that is in my life right now, God has set it up. Literary everything, my employment, car, lifestyle and family and while I understand what God has placed in my life, I also realize what has been removed ( some things I miss more than others). God has taken me and stripped me clean to set me up right where I am and as I write this a revelation is on me.
So, my question to God is …with what is here right now in my life, what am I supposed to do and what I hear back is... Take it piece by piece. Think of it as a tree, place a plan on each branch and then begin to work on each branch and there you will see the leaves grow on your tree and you will know it is my work.
I reflect back to the time I heard Oprah's speak at Stanford University (via YouTube) this was during an event called “Harry’s Last Lecture” https://youtu.be/GR_7X0exvh8. During this event, Oprah talks about how God has managed her life and that even when she thought life was not working in your favor, things came together. The amazing factoid is when you see the pieces that were floating in the air begin to come together and land in your lap..that is when you have the Ahhh moment. One of the stories and there were many that stuck was the story of her journey to the Color Purple. Oprah talked about this old hymn she rested on in the midst of her Color Purple journey "When you have done all you can, you stand” and this brings me back to where I am, I am standing. This is not the old stand - oh yeah, I realize there are 2 kinds of stands, I used to stand and just do what I'm doing, not adding to my life and not taking away, but standing feeling frustrated with my life. Now, God has taught me this new kind of stand - stay where I have you and grow within, don't worry about the outside, grow inside because that is where the emptiness is. It's the emptiness that we need to fill and working on the inside will naturally show on the outside. Oh, I Love God. I didn't realize that until just now. I mean, I have worked on myself as a woman of who I want to be but, what I just learned is there is more work to be done. I just had to take a break for a second because I had to really get this and while I was thinking, I heard Glenda the Good Witch say "It's been in you all along". And so...The work begins.